Understand Me
by marinem7
Summary: Clarke shifts the Jeep into park and turns her head to the right to gaze at her family's darkened vacation home. She lets out a soft sigh then opens her door and slides out, softly closing the door as to not wake the others. She takes a deep breath, taking in the familiar scent of salty air.
1. The Escape

Understand Me

Clarke shifts the Jeep into park and turns her head to the right to gaze at her family's darkened vacation home. She lets out a soft sigh then opens her door and slides out, softly closing the door as to not wake the others. She takes a deep breath, taking in the familiar scent of salty air. The slight breeze and chilly air leaves goosebumps on her bare arms and legs, sending shivers down her spine.

Wrapping her arms around herself for warmth, she heads towards the side of the home and finds the power box. She unlocks the lock and turns on all the switches before heading back out front. The now illuminated front yard and dirt driveway bring a small smile to Clarke's face as her brain floods with the memories of past vacations spent in this house.

The house itself is made entirely of wood, from the steps to the support beams holding up the second floor. The exterior of the house is a dark gray, all except for the windows and doors of which are as white as paper. A porch with white railings extends to the left of the front door and wraps around the side of the house. The backyard contains a rickety, old swing set that is more sturdy than it looks, a 5-foot deep rectangular swimming pool, and a fire pit. A path of stone surrounded by vivid green grass leads to a wooden stairway that continues down a small, but steep, cliff. At the bottom of the cliff lies their own personal cove that contains a petite beach shack that holds a large couch and a futon. A deck also juts out from the back of the second floor, overlooking the entire scene. Clarke then walks back to the Jeep and opens the passenger side door.

"Octa-"

Clarke jumps as Octavia is already sliding out of her seat with a smirk on her face.

"This is going to be so funny!" Octavia says with a giggle.

Clarke sighs heavily as she walks past Octavia to the back of the Jeep. She opens the trunk and grabs her two black Nike duffle bags and a backpack to match. Clarke walks past Octavia towards the front steps to see her opening Raven's door while filming her sleeping form.

"Shh! You'll wake her up!" Octavia whispers at the sound of Clarke's heavy footsteps. Clarke glares at Octavia.

"Don't shush me. Besides, she slept through a fire alarm, Octavia. What makes you think she'll wake up now?"

"You never know!"

"The fire was in her room." Clarke deadpanned.

Octavia mockingly imitates Clarke, then continues to watch a sleeping Raven teeter over the edge of the Jeep. Clarke smirks and turns toward the worn, wooden steps, making her way to the front door. She grabs her keys from the small pocket of her backpack and unlocks the heavy door. She steps in and shuts the door behind her before turning on the light switch, her shivering already stopping after a few deep breaths. The floor is stone while the ceiling and the walls are made of dark merbau wood. To her left are the stairs leading up to the second floor, underneath which is a small but spacious bathroom. On her right is the living room and dining room, and ahead is the kitchen.

_This will be good for you,_ she tells herself whilst trudging up the stairs.

A comfortable lounge area with a T.V. is directly to the right, while wooden and glass doors leading to the deck are straight ahead, and slightly to the right. She rounds the corner at the top of the stairs, walking towards the last door at the end of the hallway. Family pictures line the walls of the hallway profusely, so much so that the difference between wall and picture frame is imperceptible. Her heart weighs her down like an anchor at the sight of them until she reaches her door. She slowly opens the door and shuts it behind her. Placing her things neatly on the floor, she closes the distance to the corner where her bed resides, and sits on the edge.

_This is good. It'll help. being here is… good, _she tells herself unconvincingly. She sighs deeply and lays back on the bed, second guessing her decision to come here. Suddenly she hears Octavia's distant but hearty laughter which bring her out of her reverie.

"And I got it on video!" Octavia teases.

There's more laughter and sounds of footsteps running, then a muffled yelp and scream.

"Clarke! Help me!"

Clarke can't help but smile and laugh to herself before she rushes off to watch the scuffle between her two best friends, smile never leaving her face. Her uncertainties are all but forgotten.


	2. That Girl

Clarke slowly opens her eyes to stare at her darkened room. She glances at her nightstand and reads 5:00 AM. She groans loudly, but pushes the covers off her body and throws her feet over the side of her bed. Her bare feet touching the cold stone floor, causing her to wince from the quick loss of heat.

She stands and quietly exits her room to go downstairs to the kitchen. The sound of nothing but silence is a melody to her ears. Grabbing a banana from the strewn leftover snacks on the counter, from the ride over, she heads back upstairs, eating on her way up. Taking the stairs two at a time, she enters her room again, closing the door behind her.

She reaches down and grabs a pair of black and white running shorts, a white tank, and a light gray pullover hoodie out of her dufflebag where she dropped them last night. She walks into her bathroom and grabs a gray towel out of the hanging cabinets across from the porcelain sink and toilet. She places her clothes onto the counter next to the sink, and her towel on the rack, then turns on the granite walk-in shower. She strips off the clothes she wore yesterday, having slept in them, and and hops in. She takes a quick five minute shower and shuts the water off. Quickly grabbing her towel, and drying off, she dresses and ties her hair into a ponytail.

She heads downstairs, grabbing a pair of socks and her running shoes from her duffle as she passes by. She sits in the foyer, methodically putting on her socks and shoes. She opens her front door, and does some light stretching on the porch before taking off down the dirt road at a decent pace.

Morning fog makes it hard to see, but gives the view a better tranquility. The sound of waves crash in the distance while seagulls fly high over head. To her left and right are nothing but trees and bushes, their branches and leaves so closely linked that the other side could be a sheer cliff and she wouldn't even know. She heads down the dirt road for awhile until she sees a small break in the trees to her right. _Might as well, _she thinks to herself. When she came here as a child, she was never able to explore, or get out from underneath her parents ever so watchful eyes. She turns into the path big enough for two or three people and softly gasps. _I'm going to have to come back here with some pencils and paint. _

The fog is thick, but not as thick as out on the road. It makes it so that for the first few feet she can see the trees and their branches perfectly, but further out she can only see the outline of them, like no matter how fast or how far she runs, she'll never fully be able to see them. She glances upwards and sees the parts in the leaves where sunlight will dance through, and make her forget while warming every inch of her body and soul, in the later hours of the day. The path winds on, turning left and right, but never forking. Taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes. She can feel her feet each time they strike against the earth and her heart pounding against her chest. She feels the blood in her veins as she tries to not think about-

Something hard hits her chest and the air in her lungs expels outward as she opens her eyes in time to see a flash of dark green. Her eyes automatically close as again as she feels herself falling backwards. She lands hard on her ass, what little air she had left in her lungs now gone from the impact. She groans slightly, mostly out of annoyance, and opens her eyes to see a tall, beautiful girl with long brown hair wearing a dark green t-shirt and shorts. Her hair is tied up much like Clarkes, showing her startling eyes. She, however, is already standing and reaching down to Clarke to help her up. Clarke glares at her hand, but accepts it nonetheless.

The girl pulls Clarke up effortlessly, so much so that Clarke stumbles a bit when finally up. She immediately bends down to brush off the thin layer of dirt on her legs and bottom, her chest filled with annoyance and anger.

"Maybe you should watch where you're goi-" Clarke says as she stands up straight to find herself talking to air. She whirls around and stares at the body already far away. "Hey!" Clarke yells after her, but she doesn't turn around. Clarke stares in disbelief and huffs before brushing the rest of the dirt off.

* * *

"What a bitch." Octavia says.

"I know right! She didn't even say sorry!"

Raven flops down on the couch between Octavia and Clarke.

"Well, she did help you up. Maybe she's just not a talker, or was having a bad day. Or maybe she met O here." Said Raven.

"Hey!" Octavia grabs the nearest pillow and hits Raven in the head.

"Well she did look like she had something on her mind." Mentions Clarke.

"See!" Raven says as she tries to wrestle the pillow from Octavia.

"Was she cute at least?" Asks Octavia.

Clarke blushes and turns her head so they can't see her face.

"Aw Clarke's blushing! What did she look like?" Continues Octavia.

Clarke scoffs and heads towards the kitchen so she can escape the onslaught of embarrassing questions Octavia will surely ask.

She hears a _thwack, _which she assumes was Raven finally winning the fight for the pillow. She chuckles and grabs a water bottle from the fridge then returns to the living room and plops back down in her spot.

Octavia starts to ask a question directed at Clarke, but Raven decides this is the perfect time to attack her with a barrage of hits.

"Clarke," a hit to Octavia's head. "Do," a hit landing square on her nose. "You," another hit on the side of her head. "Wanna. Go. To. The. Bonfire. On. Friday." Octavia asks between hits, her hair frazzled and wild in the aftermath. She leers at a smirking Raven, then turns her attention to Clarke.

Clarke sighs, "Probably not."

"Are you sure?" Replies Raven.

"Yeah. I don't feel like meeting new people. Maybe later in the week or something."

Clarke's phone vibrates and she looks down to see it's from her mom as the doorbell rings. All three of them glance to each other, then Clarke gets up to walk to the front door. She glances out the side window to see two darkened figures blending in with the night sky. _The porch light must be out. _She grabs the handle and opens the door slowly, the light from the foyer illuminating the face of the person standing in front of the door.

"Aunt Anya?" Clarke says as she is immediately enveloped by her.

"Clarke!" Squeezing tighter and giving Clarke a kiss on her cheek. She pulls back and smiles wide. "How are you doing darling?"

Anya was not actually related to Clarke, or her mom, Abby, for that matter, but she has been in Clarke's life for as long as she can remember. Anya and her mom were actually childhood friends, and knew each other their whole lives. They went to the same schools, all throughout elementary to high school. They worked together for a few years, but Anya ended up leaving and traveling the world, finally realizing her dream to become a marine. They reunited years after was Clarke was born, after Anya was honorably discharged from the military.

"Oh my gosh! I'm doing great, you?" Clarke says just getting over her surprise, and pulling Anya in for another hug. Anya chuckles and hugs her back again. "I've been doing great kiddo. Oh where are my manners! Clarke this is Lexa. I believe she is the same age as you." Anya says as she points to the forgotten other person.

Clarke peers past Anya as she recognizes the girl from this morning. The long brown hair now messily hangs down past her shoulders, and those green eyes seemingly peering into her soul. Lexa takes a few steps forward and puts her hand forward. "We, uh, ran into each other this morning," she says to Anya, but then faces Clarke again, "But its nice to meet you Clarke." Clarke takes her hand and they shake. "You too." Clarke says with a grin, getting a small smile in return.

"Sorry for the quick 'hello' but we've got to get going. I just wanted to let you I'm staying in one of the houses up the road. We'll visit sometime next week. Love you!" Anya says before giving her a hug goodbye.

"Bye, Clarke." Lexa adds before they both turn to leave.

"Bye! Have a nice night!

She watches them go down the stairs and sees Anya throw her arm around Lexa's shoulder, ruffling her hair with the other hand. She laughs when Lexa playfully pushes her away, Anya throwing her head back with laughter. Clarke remembers the text from her mom, and pulls her phone out of her pocket. _Your Aunt Anya will be stopping by with a friend soon._ She returns her phone to her pocket, and turns around to go back inside. She closes the door and places her back against the door, becoming more curious about Lexa every second.

"Who was that?" Raven and Octavia ask simultaneously


	3. Nightmare

**_A/N Possible Trigger Warning _**

_His body crumples to the ground, red already soaking the front of his shirt and pooling around him. Eyes closed, chest not rising, and blood. Blood and blood and blood. She doesn't hear the boy with the gun yelling commands at her, or her father telling her to listen. All she hears is the rapid beat of her heart thrumming in her ears as she stares at the lifeless body before her. Panic fills her bones while adrenaline envelops her muscles. Resisting the urge to lunge forward and attack, she fights back a sob as the gunman aims the shotgun at her father._

Clarke wakes with sweat beading down her face and soaked sheets. Panic swallows her up for a moment when she can't place her surroundings. _I'm covered in blood! _"No. Clarke, it's just sweat. You're okay." she tells herself. _That's him standing in the corner! _"No. No, it's not. Just a chair." _But… I think I heard something from downstairs! _She leans forward and runs her hand through her hair, brushing it out of her eyes. She sighs deeply, her heart heavy and tight as if someone were grasping her heart, determinedly trying to crush her from within. She takes deep breaths, counting to five, holding for two, and exhaling until her her body craves to take another gulp of air. She brawls with her brain as it comes up with scenarios she knows to be impossible, knows to be false, yet she can't help but believe that maybe they're true. That maybe, just maybe, he is here, and she should run. Run until she can't walk, then crawl until she can't move.

She glances at her clock and throws the covers off of herself, the chilly night air cooling her body. The early morning light barely illuminates her room as she slips into some running clothes. While putting on her shoes she hears a light knock on her door. Heart pounding and thoughts she had just fought to keep quiet force themselves to the forefront of her mind, all from that one simple act.

"Clarke, can I come in?" says Octavia very quietly, her voice raspy from sleep. Clarke lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding, "Of course O." Octavia opens the door, her hair frazzled and misplaced, and sits down next to Clarke on the bed. Clarke doesn't look at her, focusing on putting on her shoes and getting outside as quickly as possible.

"Are you alright?" asks Octavia, " I heard you thrashing about… Is there anything I can do? Movie to keep your mind off things?" "I'm fine O. I promise." "I'm here for you. Me and Raven." She sighs softly. "I know, Octavia. I'm just gonna go for a run, okay? See you when I get back." She leaves her bedroom to head downstairs, leaving Octavia sitting alone on her bed.

* * *

Her breath is hard and labored, the wind blowing against her face making her feel like she is flying. The trees become one as she runs and runs, the morning events becoming foggy and distant with each step. The cold air burns her throat with every breath, and sweat drips down her brow. The sky, dark and cloudy, seemingly creating a barrier, making her feel isolated from the real world, and very real memories. As long as she didn't think of her past, that barrier remained.

Everywhere she went, she felt broken and useless as strangers, family, and friends looked at her with pity and sorrow. They offered her condolences, but every "I'm sorry for your loss" felt empty. _How else are they supposed to handle it?_ She didn't know. She didn't know where to begin. She didn't know how she was going to get past this, or if she even could. There were a lot of things she didn't know but desperately needed too. She knew Octavia was just trying to help her. Help her forget, move on, and start anew. But she couldn't. Not when their lifeless bodies and cold, dead eyes were burned into her memory. She still saw their blood on her hands as she tried to stop the bleeding, and no matter how many times she washed and washed, it never came off. Everytime she closed her eyes she saw his smile behind the barrel of the gun, never once seeing regret, just hunger. A hunger for pain, hurt, and blood.

She turns the corner and sees a figure up ahead. She freezes dead in her tracks. Her heart stops, and her chest tightens. The figure is coming towards her; running towards her. Her whole body feels like it is being crushed underneath a car. The pain and the fear becomes too overwhelming. She tries to turn around and run, but her limbs are like lead, feeling heavy and slow. She collapses to the ground, helpless as the figure approaches her, and bends down. She tries to back away, using her hands to push herself, but she can't breathe and oh god. She can't breathe.

"Clarke. Listen to me."

_That's not his voice. _She blinks, her breathing still sharp and violent. _This can't be happening._ "Clarke. It's me, Lexa." _No its a trap. He's here, he's finishing the job. Fight back this time! _Clarke pushes with all her might at the body in front of her, and makes a strained effort to crawl away on her stomach, her body exhausted and sapped. "Clarke, listen to the sound of my voice. Wherever you are in your head, its not real." Clarke blinks and sees the the ground and the trees. "Take in your surroundings. Breathe. Focus."

Clarke sees the small pebbles on the ground, and the blades of grass, slightly swaying in the wind. _He's not here… He can't be._ She takes in a deep breath, her chest slightly relieved of the pressure. "Clarke." Lexa says as she slowly comes to the side of her. "I— go. I... I need to go. Now." Clarke stammers breathlessly. Lexa nods, "Okay. Let's just—" Clarke falls back into the spiral. _He's coming. He's here for you. _She glances up and sees Wells and her father's bodies two feet away from her, blood covering the ground. Then there he is. Standing slightly behind them, a shotgun casually slung over his shoulder, he smiles at her. "Hey, Princess." _He's not real…_ _They're not real… Lexa's here. She's real, not them. But maybe he… _Lexa sees Clarke's eyes go wide with panic again as she starts to scramble to get away. Lexa gently but firmly cups Clarke's face with both hands. "Clarke. Hey. Look at me." Clarke takes a shaky breath and blinks, staring into dark green swirls, trying to give all her attention to reality. "Count with me, okay? One." "One." Clarke repeats shakily. "Two." "Two." "Three." "Three." They count to ten, and go back down. Then they do it again, repeating until any sign of fear is completely gone from Clarke's eyes, Lexa's hands only dropping when she is positive Clarke won't fall back in. Clarke doesn't realize when the blood disappears, or the bodies, or that horrible boy. She just sees green, the only anchor holding her down in this moment.

* * *

They sit side by side, with some distance between them, for stay until the sun is almost directly above them, skin warm, and muscles tight and aching to be moved. The silence between them, comfortable and peaceful. Lexa never asks what happened, or what she had seen. She respects the distance and doesn't push Clarke, which she is very grateful for. Lexa also doesn't coddle her with affection or attention, just genuine concern for her well-being. They sit together that way until Lexa notices Clarke start to nod off, exhaustion finally catching up to her and the past event having drained her energy.

"Would you like to head back, Clarke? Maybe sleep in a bed and not dirt?" Lexa says with a grin. Clarke rolls her eyes but can't help the small smile that appears. "I'll take that as a yes." Lexa stands and offers her hand to Clarke, which she takes gratefully. They walk back to Clarke's vacation home, brushing shoulders every so often. Sun shining down on them, sweat slightly dampening their foreheads, they move quietly down the small dirt road.

"Hey Lexa?" Clarke asks hesitantly. "Yes?" she says, turning her heads toward Clarke. "Thanks for helping me." Clarke prepares herself for an awkward reply, a barrage of questions, pitying looks, or all of the above.

"You're welcome, but it is not something that needs to be thanked." Clarke is taken aback even more and is about to reply when Lexa continues, "You are a pretty fast runner. Do you run every day?" Clarke tilts her head, slightly confused, but immensely thankful. "Oh, uh, usually. You?" Lexa nods her answer. "I'd love to run faster and farther though. I've been trying to get my friend Raven or Octavia to come with me, but sadly they are the definition of lazy when it comes to physical activity." Clarke says with a chuckle, becoming more comfortable around Lexa with each second. Lexa chuckles with her as well, "Well I would be happy to run with you. If you want, that is"

They round the next corner and come into Clarke's driveway. "I'd like that." Clarke replies with a smile and small flip of her stomach. Lexa watches as Clarke climbs up her wooden stairs, "You're gonna have to keep up though. You're fast, but I'm faster," Lexa teases, "See you at 5am sharp!" Clarke waves goodbye as she internally groans at the thought of waking up so early.


	4. Luck

**A/N: I apologize for the long wait. I've been very busy with finals and such. I will update the next chapter ASAP. Thank you, and enjoy.**

* * *

Clarke's feet hit the ground, the beat of her heart deafening. She thrusts each foot forward, willing her body to go faster. The early morning air burns her throat and lungs as she takes gulps of air, her body close to giving up but her heart beats faster as she wills herself to continue through the pain. She fights to keep up with Lexa but the girl's pace is unbearably fast.

They run down the beaten path towards the beach, trees surround them and beautiful flowers of all different colors distract Clarke as she pushes onward. The path turns from dirt to sand as she and Lexa emerge to the opening of the beach. Lexa gains speed as she hits the sand and heads for the water, the morning mist nearly gone as the sun slowly rises from the horizon.

Clarke tries to gain speed when she hits the sand, but her body fails her, and she ends up making a slow jog to an awaiting Lexa at their finishing point. Lexa greets her with a breathtaking smile, her stomach doing a small flip despite her exhaustion.

Sweat beads down her forehead and neck as she collapses next to Lexa's feet, taking deep breaths to calm the rapid beat of her heart. Feet in front of her, she wraps her arms around her bent knees and hears Lexa plop down beside her. She can feel Lexa's eyes on her, and she glances up to see a cocky smile from the girl.

"Told you I was faster." Clarke grunts which earns a laugh from Lexa as she turns her head toward the ocean, the sun barely peeking up over the edge. She can not describe the feeling the overwhelms her as the water stretches out as far as the eye can see, making her feel small and petty, but capable and strong.

Her heart swells with happiness as the sun causes the water to glisten and the sky to change from dark blue to bursts of pinks, oranges, and yellows. She can't help but stare, her mind going blank, and the feeling of fatigue prominent.

She wants to feel this free forever, not worrying about nightmares, or anxiety, or panic attacks. Just the nostalgic feeling of the sun rising up over the water and the feeling of hope in her bones. The hope for new experiences, friendships, and love. The hope for life. But suddenly the dead of eyes of her father flash through her mind, his lifeless body engraved into the back of her eyelids, reminding her that it was not a dream, and that her father and Wells aren't here anymore. That she should have been the one to die, not them.

The weight of her pain and grief make her entire body feel like an anchor. She feels guilty for having this one peaceful moment, for wanting to be happy, for the way her stomach flips every time Lexa smiles, and for coming back to this place.

_They should be here. _

Pain threatens to push her tears over the edge as she stares straight ahead. She sighs deeply but doesn't let them fall. Clarke clears her mind, and continues to take in the beauty of the scene before her. She fights and pushes back the tidal wave of emotions and memories that come bubbling back to the surface. Sometimes they win, but she always gets back up, and she always will. But some wounds leave scars, scars that Clarke fears may never go away.

Clarke glances at Lexa and notices her staring intently. She holds her gaze for a few moments before sighing and turning away to look at the sunrise. They sit in silence for another few minutes before Lexa gets up and stands in front of her, holding out her hands for Clarke to grab. Clarke grabs them and Lexa helps her stand.

Clarke brushes the sand off her back, and looks back up to see Lexa smiling at her. "Oh come on! We just got here!" Clarke whines. Lexa starts to pull Clarke back towards where they came before letting go and starting a light jog. "Come, Clarke. I'll go slower on the way back. Just for you!"

Clarke glares at Lexa's back as she catches up. "This is only the third time we've run! You think _someone_ would go easy," she huffs. Lexa laughs and picks up the speed a little bit. "Can you not handle this, Clarke?" Lexa grins while using her hands to motion towards her body, making Clarke blush and roll her eyes. Clarke replies by shoving Lexa a little and picks up the pace, forcing Lexa to catch up this time.

* * *

"I totally won that race!"

"Clarke, you tripped me. I do not think that qualifies as a win."

"Whatever." Clarke grumbles, making Lexa chuckle.

They walk down Clarke's driveway, both smiling, and head up the stairs. "Are you still able to go for a run tomorrow as well?" Lexa asks. "I should be able too. I'll text you if I can't." Lexa's stomach growls suddenly, making her smile sheepishly.

Clarke chuckles and unlocks the door, holding it open for Lexa. "Stay for breakfast?" "I'd love too." Lexa replies. Lexa enters the house and takes off her shoes.

"Bathroom is under the stairs, and the kitchen is straight ahead. I'll be right back." Lexa nods and heads down the hallway as Clarke heads upstairs. Her body fatigued and sore already, she walks to her room throwing her things on her bed, and taking off her shirt. She grabs a fresh, plain white tank top, and takes her phone off her nightstand before heading downstairs. On the way down she reads her mom's text message with a groan. _Yes, I'll give it to her _is Clarke's reply.

She turns the corner and heads into the kitchen, looking up from her phone only to find a fully dressed Octavia and Raven staring at Lexa across from the kitchen island. Octavia looks as if she is angrily trying to put together a puzzle, and Raven just looks tired. "Oh hey guys. This is Lexa. Lexa, Raven and Octavia." Raven gives a sleepy grumble, and Octavia continues to stare. "Its nice to meet you both." Lexa says with a smile as Clarke walks over to her side and turns to Raven and Octavia. "Where are you two going?" Clarke asks as she motions to their outfits as reasoning. "Especially this early?"

"We're going down to town to pick up groceries." Octavia replies, glaring at Lexa. "Oh, right. The two most important things to you two. Food and sleep. But food first." Raven and Octavia give an affirmative nod, Octavia never taking her eyes off of Lexa, and Raven nodding off. Raven jerks awake, looking confused, and then pulls Octavia towards the front door, passing by a blank faced Lexa.

Octavia points two fingers towards her eyes, then one towards Lexa as if to say i'm-watching-you, but ends up poking her own eye after a few times. Clarke notices Lexa trying to stifle a laugh while she rolls her eyes at Octavia. "Oh don't mind her," Raven says dragging Octavia behind her, "she's an idiot."

The door closes behind them both and Lexa breaks out in laughter, making Clarke smile. "I love your friends." Lexa says with a chuckle as she sits down at the bar, and shakes her head with a smile. Clarke walks over to the pantry, and examines its contents. "So I completely forgot we didn't have any food, so we'll have to make do with cereal."

* * *

Lexa picks up Clarke's dishes and places them inside the dishwasher before closing it. "So you're going to school for art after this summer is up?" "Yeah. It'll be far away from home so I'm not sure how my mom is going to take it." Lexa nods her understanding. "Speaking of which, I need to give my aunt something." Clarke heads into the living room, Lexa trailing behind, and picks up a box of miscellaneous items, bring it into the foyer.

"My mom texted me this morning about it, but I'm really not looking forward to the long walk, especially after this morning." Clarke says as she starts to reach down to put her shoes on, Lexa doing so as well.

"I got it, Clarke." Clarke looks up and stares at Lexa as she slides her shoes on. "Thats nice Lex, but—" "No buts. You offered breakfast, now I will return the favor." Lexa picks up the box from the ground, tucking it under one arm and opening the front door with the other.

"You don't even know where she lives. Plus her place is hard to find." Lexa turns her head slightly, confusion lacing her features as she takes a step outside. "I live with Anya. I thought you knew." Red tinting her cheeks as she shrugs her shoulders. Clarke's eyes open wide as she watches Lexa go down the steps, possibilities of what that statement could mean filling her mind.

Lexa turns around at the bottom of the stairs, staring at Clarke, "See you tomorrow, Clarke." She says with a smile.

At that she turns around and heads off down the road, box tucked under her arm, leaving a gaping Clarke to her own. "They're not…" Clarke says to herself as confusion muddles her brain. "They can't be… Can they?"

Clarke stares at a disappearing figure, her heart dropping slightly with disappointment.


	5. Maybe

**A/N: Guys don't hate me. The reason the wait was so so so long was because I went to bootcamp. Not only did I have to prepare, which added more time, but I wasn't allowed to bring any electronics. On top of that, I had a month long training course where I couldn't use any electronics right after bootcamp. Thank you for your support.**

Breathless, Clarke comes to a stop in front of her home, Lexa already having stopped. She clasps her hands together behind her head trying to catch her breath while Lexa seems as if she is ready to run another few miles.

"You're already improving, Clarke." "Then why do I still feel like I'm dying after every run." She groans. Lexa lets out a small chuckle and starts to walk up the front steps with Clarke trailing after her, still trying to catch her breath.

Lexa opens the front door for Clarke, smiling at her as she walks ahead into the kitchen. "Oh by the way, Anya says she's coming over tonight. She said she'll be bringing food, so don't worry." Lexa states as she sits down at the bar. "Are you coming as well?" "Well if you wanted to get dinner with me, all you had to do was ask, Clarke." Lexa laughs as Clarke's cheeks turn red. "Oh, shut up." Clarke says as she slides Lexa a water she grabbed from the fridge. "But, no, I don't think I'll be able to make it tonight." "Oh, okay," Clarke says surprised with how disappointed she is, "But we're still on for tomorrow morning, yeah?" "Of course."

* * *

A knock resonates down the hall to the kitchen where Clarke awaits her Aunt. She slides of her chair, and goes to open the front door. As soon as the door opens wide enough for her Aunt to slide through, she does exactly that, and envelops Clarke in a bear hug, kissing her on the temple. Clarke hugs back just as tight, and smiles into Anya's shoulder.

Anya holds onto her for a few moments longer before pulling back and smiling. "Look at you! I know I just saw you, but I was in a hurry. Wow you have grown!" Clarke smiles sheepishly and is surprised when Anya brings her into another quick hug. She pulls back yet again but keeps her hands on Clarke's arms, as her face scrunched up into concern. "How are you, darling? Really?" Clarke gives a small smile, "I'm doing okay Anya. Really." "Ok sweetie." Anya kisses Clarke on the forehead before releasing her and grabbing the grocery bags from in front of the door and starting down the hallway.

Anya places the bags on top of the counter before unpacking its contents. "I hope you're in the mood for pasta because that's the only thing I can cook. If you can even call it cooking." She says with a laugh. Clarke laughs, " How do you still not know how to cook?" " Darling. The Marine Corps provides your food. All you have to do is show up." Clarke laughs and shakes her head while opening the cabinet right of the stove to get a big pot for the pasta.

She sits at the bar making casual conversation with her Aunt as she starts to cook the pasta. " So art school, yes?" " Yeah. I got a scholarship to Cal Arts. Mom is super proud." Clarke replies. "As she should be. You're an amazing girl, Clarke. Very talented!" Clarke blushes and smiles sheepishly. "Thanks, Anya." "Your dad would be proud. So would Wells."

Clarke is thankful that Anya's back is to her when just the mere mention of them changes her mood as fast and as painful as a car crash. "I know. Thanks." Anya stirs the pasta, making sure it doesn't stick to the bottom of the pot and turns towards Clarke. "And that boy. Finn. He deserved what he got."

Clarke's eyes widen and feels her heart speed up as she nods her agreement to her Aunt. She hates him. She hates what he did. Hates how she couldn't function from the fear he caused, still causes in her sometimes. Hates how he can still somehow control her, just by his name being brought up in a conversation, despite how very impossible that is.

"Anyways. Tell me, any new suitors?" Clarke gives a half-hearted laugh but shakes her head. "Nope… What about you? Lexa did say that you two are living together…" With that her Aunt throws her head back with laughter. "Oh, darling, no. My man is stationed in Pendleton. It's his last year," She chuckles. "Once he's out, he's moving here to live with me. Lexa is practically my daughter. I took her in her senior year. She's had a rough past." "Oh, I didn't know." Clarke replies. "Yeah the girl is tough. You glance at her and you wouldn't think she's gone through what she has… Same goes for you."

Clarke gives a soft smile, and looks down into her lap, focusing on her fidgeting hands, focusing on the lines, and veins, anything to stop the memories from overtaking her mind. Clarke exhales heavily as her Anya's attention shifts to the stove when a hissing sound erupts, the water having bubbled over the edge. _So maybe that's why Lexa seems to understand me so well._

Clarke's heart lurches at the thought that something so scarring, something similar to Clarke's experiences, happened to the playful girl. She wants to know what happened to the girl, to help in some small way, but another part of her doesn't want to know, wants to pretend that bad things don't happen in this world, and that good people have good things happen to them.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the splashing sound of Anya pouring the pot and its contents into a strainer placed in the sink. "Alright, foods done. Do me a favor and set the table, sweetie."

* * *

Clarke lays in bed, her Aunt having left hours earlier. She stares up at the darkened ceiling, her mind going so fast no thoughts pop to the forefront of her mind, but the racing is enough to not allow sleep to catch her.

Clarke rolls over on her side when her phone startles her, the vibration having broken through her trance. She reaches towards her nightstand, the cold night air seeping in through the small crevices the movement created.

She pulls her phone to her face, the brightness causing her to squint, and a sharp pain hits the front of brain. Her heart skips a beat, and a small smile appears on her face, as she sees the name painted across the front of her screen.

_Good evening._ _How was dinner with Anya? _

_It was good. Heard about that time you fell down the bleachers at the basketball game lol._ Clarke replies with a small chuckle.

_Well. That's the last time I tell Anya anything. At all. _

_Awe, you're embarrassed? :P _

_Typically, I wouldn't be. But when you tell embarrassing stories to the girl you're trying to impress, it becomes a little bit more mortifying._

Clarke's stomach flips and a grin becomes to hard to hold back. _Oh, someone's trying to impress me? Well, you're not doing a very good job so far. _

_Ouch, Clarke. That hurts :/ _

_Don't be such a baby! You know I'm kidding. You know you've already impressed me a lot._

_ I know. I just wanted to hear you say it. :P _

Clarke rolls her eyes, and is about to type out a response when Lexa sends another text. _I'm sorry, I gtg. See you tomorrow. Goodnight, Clarke. _

_Goodnight, Lexa._

Clarke locks her phone, placing it back on the nightstand and plugging it into the charger. She rolls back onto her back and and stares back up at the ceiling, this time with a smile, and thoughts of Lexa lulling her to sleep.


End file.
